Chapter One- The Beginning

I know that I have been procrastating putting up the first chapter on here, but, here it is !!


Chapter 1-The Beginning
I looked outside from my barren walls just to see a barren land. I never understood why the military had to invade our homes or take our parents away. I am the oldest in our town, now, at age 17. I am locked away from all the rest of the world, and I no longer feel safe. I am not sure who or even why this all began. But, if I have to try until I breathe my last breath, I will find out. 
It is cold in this room, and I am sure, freezing outside, since it is winter. But, the thing is, I couldn’t enjoy it any more. People assume right there that I am disabled or have some crazy disease. Truthfully, I am not sure what is wrong with me. I am told to be “special” or even “disturbed”. But, I just think that I understand things better than others can. Does that make sense to anyone else besides me? I am not exactly sure. But, things that are unusual have been going on outside of this prison I am locked in, and I need to find out what that exactly is….the only problem with doing that is getting out. Without getting out, I might actually become “insane” or “dangerous”.
My mother once told me that I am “strong” and “courageous”. She told me that I always put others before me. But, that ability slowly died away to the point that I only consider myself and finding the truth important. I no longer help the children in my town, find food. This is my prison, and this is their prison. It is time for all of us to grow up and learn on our own. I never knew my father, nor did I truly want to. My mother described him as “incompetent” and “destructive”. He destroyed their relationship, and he destroyed her life. I didn’t want him to form my life into a chaotic mess, too. No way would I let him do that to me.
As a child, I didn’t see the mess he made of my mother. My mother eventually lost her sanity and needed to be home to feel safe. Now, I wonder where she is…and how she is. I am not sure when I will see my mother again, but, I will. There is no way that I will let the government’s conscious mistakes keep me from my happiness. I despise him for that. But, since he is in the military, and took my mother from me, I hate him! 
The other children in my town want and even need their mothers and fathers back home, as well. Again, I must say…the only problem is getting out of here. This thing is trapping us in. This bubble that is locked outside. Our world is only about 15 miles long. But, how could I get out? This is what I need to find out. I might as well be locked up in a juvenile correction center; because, that is what our town is. 
What I can remember about the first month in this new town was glancing into the mirror and seeing an image of a girl who matured too fast. It wasn’t from the usual drugs or alcohol, which made your innocent features, harden.  It was from the stress thrown at me in a matter of weeks. It was from the fact that I was another portion of the adolescence occupying Narrow Ridge, than, I became the oldest. It was from the belief that my mother was probably gone forever. It had to do with confinement and elimination of freedom. Touching what became creases in my face, I could only cry out. Cry out to whomever could hear me, Cry out to a God, whether He cared or not. Cry out, whether this was just an emotional ramble or something that was significantly a cry for help. Whether the other children were hearing distance or whether they were far off in the distance, I cried out. Whether I would be known as stronger or weaker, I cried. I did it! It was from so much laid on someone who couldn’t take too much. Who was this girl? She surely couldn’t be me…but, she was.
I guess this is the time that I should grow up. I need to stop looking in the past, because this is the future. I need to find a way to live and find peace in this war. How? I don’t know. But,
I can find out. I can make my mother proud and bring her home to Narrow Ridge; bring her home to me.
I went on a jog to clear my thoughts. I had to find some way to do what is right. I, Mina Hathaway, am going to have a safe and reliable plan by the end of this week. I know what I need to do, but, my plan definitely needs formulating. I guess I should meet up with the other teenagers from Narrow Ridge, and get their help as well…and, eventually, we may even need the children to help us out.
“Mina”… “Mina!” “Where have you been?” “Mina, the deal was, if you wanted to stay alive, you had to be at the weekly meetings”. “I am sorry General Baliff,” I stated gravely, “I guess that when my mother was just snatched out of my life, it gave me post-dramatic stress where I can’t remember”. “Mina, I find you hilarious with your half-ass jokes, but, if you are late one more time, or miss another meeting, we will lock you up. Next meeting is on Tuesday at fifteen-hundred hours”. I hated him. I absolutely hated that man. He and three other men were the only adults in our prison. General Baliff is known as the killer, being as he has already killed seven children and three teenagers. The other three men were all doctors that were enlisted in the military as well. They listed us all with diseases and made us seem crazy. We had weekly meetings, that I, as well as Christopher (the 15 year old genius) skipped. The meetings were to brainwash us, or as General calls it, “to cleanse your sanity”. Well, my “sanity” is just fine, and so is everyone else besides those heartless bastards in the military.
They portray every other being as “crazy” or “disturbed”, but, it is not true. I don’t see any one of those kids that are around Narrow Ridge (aka Base 491 Kaddin [to the military]) as anything besides another normal child. See, I did my research, and I found out that the cerebral cortex, which is in the frontal lobe, controls our emotional responses, which could be mood changes or even perversion. I also found out that if you don’t receive enough serotonin, it leads to a severe depression. I think that is what might have happened to my mother. I am not sure how you lose serotonin over time, but, if that is what my father did to her. He must’ve sucked her serotonin out somehow and created her into this big blob of depression. Then, there is the amygdale, and that holds emotions such as fear and anger. But, see, I don’t see any of those symptoms, besides fear in any of these children. But, anyone would feel those same frightening feelings as anyone else, if their parents were taken from them, to never be seen again, as well.
I felt small in this world. I think that they want me to look at this world and be in awe…but, they are wrong. This is nothing to be in awe over. There is nothing great about this place. We are not people to the Generals, doctors, and government running this all…we are all just case studies. I am not sure if they would like to be “the ant under the magnifying glass”, but I know that I do not. Actually, I know that no one in Narrow Ridge appreciates that. Who would? They treat us like lab rats and like we don’t deserve an opinion. I didn’t know that equal rights were taken away from us. I thought that the United States was all for freedom and peace. But, what is this? It surely isn’t what our forefathers signed for and dedicated their lives to distribute.
Rights are now wrongs and wrongs are now rights. Everything is gone. Everyone is gone. 
School is no longer existent in this town. Kids that were in the 2nd grade are no longer in school. How do they think that we are going to do anything with ourselves? Is this there ultimate testing, to see if we can live without education, adults, or anything else that we need? The four adults in our town don’t supply food or anything else to any of the children, besides the 0-2 year olds. After that, they told us, it is our responsibility for them. We are the new community, and we need to learn at a younger age. But, if they want us to learn, then why deprive us from the main source of education? Our world is 15 miles long. There isn’t enough to learn. There is no television, internet, phones, radios, newspapers, etc. We don’t know anything that is happening. We don’t have schools or parents to teach us. We have nothing besides ourselves and this bubble that we are trapped inside. There also is not one animal in Narrow Ridge anymore. When our parents were taken and evacuated…so was every single animal, besides the worms and ants, of course. We are all forced vegetarians, now. We don’t get to enjoy the delicious ribs or hamburgers, anymore. Instead, we grow potatoes, corn, watermelons, pumpkins, and make our own food. Kids from ages 12+ are the cookers, and the kids 11- are the growers. The kids that are 15+ just watch each one and make sure that they do it correctly, because we can’t make any mistakes. We don’t have enough food to do so. But, we have made mistakes, and we have lost many 4-6 year olds, mostly girls. 
In Narrow Ridge, the population changed from 437, to about 132, and keeps changing each passing day. None are born or added to our town, but some are “dropping like flies”. The General wants the older ones to start breeding…I couldn’t be a mother. I want to get married, and love. Kids will come later. I want a career. I want to live my teenage life. But, the thing is, I know that soon, they will have me brainwashed into believing their canny lies. I will be a mother by age 19, and not know the meaning of love any longer. 
I always dreamed to travel to Europe, and go to college in Belgium. I dreamt about the amazing life I could have as a psychologist living in the country-side of England. But, I don’t feel like I am actually going to get there anymore. In fact, I know that I will not. I no longer have a desire to travel, nor do I desire to live any where besides my very home. If, and when, I get my mother back, I will not leave her side again. With research, one may find that post dramatic stress can make someone want to change their whole life around. When something so harsh and unexpected drops a bomb inside your life, you may never see things the same. Well, I really don’t anymore. I mean, I still go through all the psychology books and do research, because I love the science of Psychology, and I love all the different techniques and opinions that other known Psychologists studied and believed. But, every other thing in my life has lost its meaning, and all I can really wonder is where my mother is, and when I can start our life together once again.
We aren’t supposed to have books, and if they found out that I hid all of my old textbooks, literatures, Greek mythology, and psychology books under my floor boards, they would have me killed. I need my books though. They are what keep me alive in this now bleak world. I can learn and teach the other children, as I learn. I hid my mother’s college English and calculus books, as well. Finally, when I am alone in the dark night, I take them out of their little hiding place, and I practice these learning techniques daily. I know that I am learning more and more each day. But, I am really scared that they are going to find my stashes during one of their weekly raids. I am scared of dying and leaving my mother by herself. I am scared of leaving all the children of this town. I am not sure that they can make it without me or Christopher. We are the leaders. We help the kids, and we try to teach them what we know. I really wish that they were strong enough to live, incase him or I do get killed from General Baliff.  Everything is pretty chaotic lately, and I think that I am going to end up driving myself up the wall if I don’t find some way to get things at least partially back to normal.
These are the times when my undying faith starts to slowly die and fade away. I thought God was watching over us, protecting us from harm. But, then, I see the times we are in, where the Bible is completely gone, besides the hidden ones inside our AC units; where the church was torn down, and a military base was set up instead. These times resemble that of the rapture, except, all the believers that are younger than 18, are still here, and all the non-believers that are over the age of 18, are gone, as well. I wonder if God wants to help us, and if this is the only bubble that is trapping people in. We don’t have television or any other way to communicate or know what is happening everywhere else in this world, meaning, we may not only be the only ones trapped away by the military. We may be one of many victims.
When I remember that my father is in the military, it proves my mother’s repetitive accusations against his morals and lifestyle. He is an asshole and proves it by being one of the main generals in the military. I know he is watching me, since there are cameras everywhere. I had to smash all the cameras inside my house, just so I could study and read. But, my father would love to see me in such pain. He would enjoy this confusion and hurt from all the people’s lives that they are destroying….he is destroying. My mother was completely right. He is destructive. He destroys everything that he can put his hands on. 
I always remember when I was a little girl and my mother would tuck me in. She would tell me that boys are bad and they lie. My mother would tell me that I should never believe a boy, because they are not the perfect people that us girls portray them as, and we will get hurt if we keep letting them walk over us. I never let any guy into my life, because I saw the toll of marriage on my mother. She became a useless blob to anyone besides me. She was my crystal, my rose, that I adored and cherished. When she felt hurt, I was hurt. But, when she was happy, I felt thrilled. We shared emotions, because we became one. My mother and I knew what love was, because we loved each other each and every day. Of course, I would want to try dating and marriage later in my lifetime. But, I can learn from my mother’s mistakes, such as, putting everything she had into her relationship with my father, who put nothing in it at all.
Of course, we no longer have phones, but, I do have my cell phone hidden away. I know that is another disobedience against the rules set. But, why should it matter? I can’t get any service, no matter where I try, and I can’t seem to connect with the world beyond ours. I really wish I could. I try every single day. But, I am pretty sure, they knew that teenagers and children are very disobedient, and that they would sneak things like their cell phones. I know that they must have torn down the cell phone towers, etc. They are not in here, and that is how I figured it out. They don’t trust us, like we don’t trust them. They shouldn’t trust us, either. I don’t blame them for that at all. 
Trust is something that takes time. I only trust one person, and anyone who knows me, knows that person is my mother. I have never really been able to connect with people, especially since my mother always taught me to “not trust him” or “don’t believe their lies”, besides her. We had a mother-daughter bond, and I loved it. I love her. I need her back, because I am scared. Scared of the truth and the future, I guess.
My life has and is changing with each passing second, and I guess that I am becoming more and more aware of my surroundings. I am learning from naturalistic observations, the things that are necessary to live. I am learning that technology can make it snow, rain, thunder, lightening, etc. inside this bubble. I am trying to learn how they are able to make such God-like things, as well as trying to learn why they are doing so. But, then, again, maybe they are trying to make many worlds on our world. We are the geniua pigs. We are the lab rats. We are the case-study. We are their slaves.  
  Slaves to this world…this prison that we are trapped inside of. We are all enslaved to a method of classical conditioning. We hold our breath when General is around, because we are scared of him deciding to take our life and throw it in the waste basket. We are enslaved to the method of lying. We lie about where we receive information, or how we learn. We lie about where things are, and who we last talked to. We lie about our emotions and fear, as well as our happiness and exhilaration. We are everything besides who we really are. We are Base 491 Kaddin, and that is how we are known. Only the 16 year olds and I are known by our first names with General Baliff and the doctors. Everyone else has numbers varying from 131 to 219. Again, I will state…we are the case study.
But, one day, I know that freedom can reign, and reign for the rest of life. One day, Martin Luther King Jr’s speech won’t have been a waste in entirety. Or, Harriett Tubman and all the rest that lived their lives for equal right, wouldn’t have been completely over ruled. One day is all I can say…because one day is not today. We all wish that it could be. But, sadly, it is just a wish. We all say that it is going to be today…but, we know that we are just hoping and making reality false. One day is far away. One day couldn’t be yesterday, today, tomorrow, or even the next day. We are living in a world where we live off words like “one day” or “someday” or even “hope”. We are living in an unreal world. This is chaos.
With chaos, you bring the destruction and havoc. With chaos, you hear cries of pain. With chaos, you realize that nothing is ever going to be the same. I have to finally take all these things into account. I will never have restoration, and if I finally do, it won’t be anything like it was before. Not even close. I miss my life. I miss my school. I miss every bad thing that I thought was the end of my life, but wasn’t. I miss my house, when it looked normal…felt normal. I miss my friends, they were all older…and now are all gone. I miss my animals, I had two dogs…where were they now? I miss television and FaceBook. Do they exist anywhere, any longer? I miss my teachers, and the lectures we got. I miss every little thing that ever occurred in my lifetime. I have nothing now. I have no animals, no family, no friends, no teachers. I have no one to talk to, listen to, hang out with. I have absolutely nothing in this world! I don’t enjoy television or talking on my phone. I don’t enjoy walking to class in the wintertime. I don’t enjoy my life. I feel like I lost everything, and I think that is because I actually have. Again, I emotionally ramble about each and everything that I no longer have, and that is probably because I am 17 years old. I am supposed to be going to homecoming and prom. I am supposed to be getting ready to graduate, and travel to find the perfect college. I am supposed to be going to the beach with friends, and parties with enemies. I am supposed to be living like a normal teenager. But, I ramble because I can’t. I never will again, either. Life is ruined from here on out. Life…ruined…destroyed. Life is nothing like it was, nor will it ever be. I must say this at least 100 times a day. But, do you believe that I could ever walk without looking back again? I don’t. Life is a mess.
Life is drastic and we will never be aware of what will come next. One thing that I remember in the Bible is that we have many trials and temptations before us. I think that I am going through a trial and a temptation to kill everyone behind this. But, is it really the devil telling them to do all of this? Or, is it just their own conscious drives? I need to know. I need to understand. But, I can’t. God won’t answer my prayers. Neither will anyone else. All there is are unanswered questions and a shit load of lies. I am seventeen years old, and I am the oldest person in my town. I am locked up, and definded as crazy. I have no parents…I am an orphan. I look as if I am actually thirty years old. I have no siblings, or anyone to take care of. I am friends with my books, and it is illegal to read. I have a house to myself, and it looks damaged. It is a broken home. I am broken. Am I crazy? Is this all a nightmare? I am a living nightmare who seeks revenge, but could never apply it. I am confused. I am Mina Hathaway, and what I finally realize is that this is just the beginning to my ending. Only the beginning.