I swear, every other week seems to go by so fastly. But, of course, the week that I want to end, just won't !! Well, anyways, this week is Spirit Week at school and a lot of people dress up as hookers and just very crude things. This kind of upsets me. I mean, I don't understand what girls find so appealing about dressing up as hookers . It really makes them look easy, and I feel bad for them. Guys these days don't want a girl like that to be married to . They want them for short satisfactions before they move on .
I know, I totally sound ridiculous. But, I don't understand why Jesus had to give His life up for such a world that no longer cares !! I use to know so many on-fire Christians. But, each year, I know less and less. All these teens are getting caught up in Satan's games and are being brain-washed by these short "earthly pleasures". I just hope that somehow this world is going to WAKE UP and have a revelation!!
Even though that was really bothering me, there is still more . I know that Alex has been my bestfriend for a few years now . And, now that we are actually thinking about dating...I am reconsidering . I don't want to lose him . And, I know that if/when we break up, that our friendship will never be the same again. I want him in my life forever . As a friend, or whatever. So, I really don't even know what I want at this moment. I mean, of course, I want to date him. But, I really need to pray about if this is the right thing . I don't want to ruin this friendship by a relationship .
So, let us begin on this topic of Alex. He is everything I could see myself loving . He is a Christian, which is the BIGGEST thing to me. He cares about others, he is somewhat of a weirdo (:, he can make people laugh, he is always nice, anyone who meets him, likes him. I don't even know . There is so much about him that makes me completely happy. I can be having a really horrible day (like today), and he can make me laugh and smile when no one else really can. But, is that because he is my best friend, or is that because he is like the other part ? Who knows, besides God ?! I DEFINITELY DO NOT !!!
But even after all of this, I am still not ranting on about how irritated I am with everything at this moment . I have to organize a Best Buddies meeting and have a bunch of people come and I need that by October 14 ! How can I do this ? No idea !! I will just have to get a lot of people's help, I guess...and, that isn't something that stresses me out a lot . But, on top of that, I work about 25 hours a week at my job, Walgreens. And, then, I also go to school. And, on top of that, my straight A's, are NO LONGER straight A's . I mean, seriously ?! I had a 4.0 GPA all through high school . And, I have to C's, 1 B, and 4 A's, now . One C being a 79%, and I couldn't even make it into the NHS!! This really upset me, too . But, of course I didn't let anyone know that . I just don't see how I am going to get a scholarship at this rate .
I am just so stressed out, and my bones/muscles hurt so badly !! I need to cry and take a long hot bath . But, it seems like I only have time to think about crying, and to take a 10 minute, lukewarm shower .... I HATE THIS POINT !! Everything was great last week...and, this week totally sucked !! I wanted to cry the whole time during FCA today..and it wasn't because God was touching me . It was because I was so emotional over all this crap that I couldn't even focus on God. And, I just was about to burst into tears at anytime. But, no, I wasn't going to let myself . I don't know. I just need to get some sleep and pray .
REVELATION 1:4A: GRACE AND PEACE TO YOU FROM WHO IS, WHO WAS, AND WHO IS TO COME.
Good night!! <3